Still a virgin

[Rex Papa]

Hello everyone,

I will start by explaining why I started PE. Simply because I am very insecure about my penis. I am 17cm EL and my penis curves slightly to the right. Considering that I'm ethnically black and 6'3 tall, I feel that women would expect more from me. On top, I'm considered pretty good looking so I always felt that I would be a disappointment.

I used to be a very confident kid but with time I kept on feeling more insecure. I reached the stage where I feel very sad and depressed. I often isolate myself from everyone because amongst people I just dont seem to be able to conversate anymore. I concluded that all this is due to the insecurity about my penis/sexuality. I started PE in mid-july and am plan to continue for a while. I also use the extender for most of my length.

Something I have never admitted to anyone and that I would like to get off my back is that I am still a virgin. I have always denied being one because I am very embarassed about it and people would find it hard to believe anyway. But I am and I feel like a loser and a complete reject. It is not a decision I have taken bu my insecurity being stronger than my desire. I would have sex 30 times a day if I could but I just feel too small to face any woman. In fact, most girls I ever kissed were under the influence of some drug or alcohol. I am physically big and tall, but in my normal state of mind I feel very small.

Another thing is that I never had a girlfriend. I am not the best at chatting up girls. I've always been insecure around them.

All these things have been blocking my mind for the last five years. I performed very badly the last three years of school and I'm two years behind in university. I started doing drugs to forget about this problem. Now that I stopped drugs I became the biggest social retard. I became unable to carry on a normal 20 year old conversation. People think I'm a criminal because I walk around with a frown on my face. I lost all the happiness I used to have because of my sex life. I feel more miserable by the day. I need to get laid!!!!

I would like to know whether you guys think that once I reached my desired length things are going to change. Will I start facing girls and sex in a different way? Will I be confident with women, and eventually a good lover? I have a feeling that my insecurity has just got to do with me; but I'd like to stress that in general I am pretty confident and under the influence of drugs I am the most confident person in the world. So would me having a sex life change the story?

Rex Papa

[emma_permenda]

Hi Rex Papa :) ,

Although I can't comment on the physiological changes PE will make to sexual intercourse, I can, I hope :rolleyes: help to illustrate the psychological aspects of sexual intercourse.

Being a virgin is not as big a deal as society makes out, and you are certainly not a loser.

You really have to start thinking more positively about yourself, and focus on your overall confidence as a person - without too much emphasis on your penis size.

Recreational drugs are not a good idea to help with confidence - the “come down” from them will only fuel your insecurities and reiterate your anxieties.

I would advise that you quit the drugs, and start to positively focus on your life – go out more and socialise. The only way to become a confident socialite is to practice!

Secondly, PE will help with the sexual anxieties you have – but don’t let this overshadow other important areas of your life that you need to focus on.

It will help you to feel that you are doing something about your issues – that you are taking charge – not your body taking charge of you.

You sound like a cool guy, and you’ve said yourself you’re not bad looking – you have got things to offer to girls!

Are you at uni?

[Rex Papa]

Hi Emma,

Thank you for replying. I was worried I wouldnt have heard anything from anyone. What a relief!

Anyway, I remind you that I started PE because I couldnt focus on the important aspects of life and I felt that I had to do something about it. In fact, I'm expecting the outcome of PE to give my life the turning point that I always wanted. I take it as a mission that will change my life forever. And as a first move, I tackled drugs away from my life.

So when you tell me that I should focus on my overall confidence without emphasizing on my penis, I tell you that I cant. My penis is my only torment. The one thing that could possibly rebuild me is increasing the size of my penis. Until then, I will remain sad and depressed. You have to understand how aware men are about their penis.

My actual worry, Emma, is that my confidence problem became a permanent damage. I fear that even if I ever reach my goal I will still be that person with social problems that carries insecurity amongst women.

*I am in uni btw.

Rex Papa

[jade_permenda]

Hi rex!

I'm glad that you have found something to focus on, and I hope that taking the first step in your self-prescribed "therapy" is making you feel better about yourself.

I have to say though, that this is probably not the only step you will need to take to resolve your confidence issues. :o

As you say yourself, you have never had sex, and haven't had many sexual encounters- even as far as kissing. To me, this would suggest that no-one has ever made an issue out of your size. I would be surprised if anyone did, as you have a starting length of almost 7"- well above average worldwide!

What worries me the most is how will this make you feel better about yourself? When will it be enough?

If you are worried about your performance sexually (and regardless of what the men on here say- it is at LEAST as important to have some idea of how to please a woman as having a large penis!) I would recommend that you get some experience- either by talking to girls at Uni, or by having a sexual encounter.

There are different ways of achieving that, but I feel that this might be more helpful to you in your confidence than enlarging an already bigger than average penis.

[Jethroll]

yeah man it sounds like you've got a bit of inferiority complex going. It takes a team, you and your dick need to work in harmony lol. My two cents, it's time to divorce sexual pleasure from dick size. You might not believe it's true and that's fine, but you need to start looking at it from a different angle. Meaning, a bigger dick won't change things. The problem is this: if you think a bigger dick will make you more fit, then eventually you'll start to attract only girls that are vain, shallow and petty. If you really truly desire to solve this situation you eventually will. You go to a university? take speech classes, especially speech classes that you might not normally take, take english or humanities classes, classes where you have to express your own interpretations more often. Also I highly recommend that you join a popular online dating site like match, or eharmony. It's really a no pressure situation when it comes to online dating, give it a go, you might not meet your wife but you'll probably be able to at least get experience communicating with the fairer sex.

Finally, as far as girls go, display the fact your virgin proudly, hell buy a t-shirt that says virgin. Trust me, if you 10 different girls find out your a virgin I would say at least 2 or 3will want to end that situation quickly. Remember this, you can be in a relationship and not have sex, seriously.