 Finding your women is only start of the equation. Once you think you have found her, you have to be able to not only approach her comfortably, but also make a good impression.
This means that from initial recognition, to reading the signs are very important. Misreading the signs can be suicidal.
However don't panic! It might seem a bit overwhelming and complex, but trust me, with a bit of patience and practise it will all be worth it. To make it easier, I will break the whole process into different sections.
Each section will concentrate on a certain aspect of seducing that needs to be got right before moving on. Each section follows on from the one before. Don't forget that through out this process you must be in control- leading your lady through the process.
STEP 1:
This step is very important. It is at this time that you begin assessing where you are and who is around you. Once you have gained a comfortable sense of surroundings look around and decide whom you are going to aim at.
Before you do anything you must make sure you feel as comfortable as you possible can- don't come across as all nervous and sweaty.
The thing to do is set up initial communication with the women in question. The key here is not to go over the top. Try a subtle way, like smiling at her, or holding eye contact- this means that you won't cause too much of a stir or embarrass her unnecessarily.
Once you receive a response- like returning your smile, or holding you eye contact it is time to start making subtle signs. I suggest adjusting your position or clothing just to grab a bit more of her attention. You may find that you do this automatically- it's a pretty common reaction.
Once the basic response and recognition has been given you must then try to get a further, more complex reaction. The key to achieving this is to be able to use and read body language. The next chapter goes onto this in more detail.
A basic move that will tell you whether she is interested or not is to simply shift your position to face her. Then look around the room in a subtle, casual manner trying to catch her eye line further. It is here that the women will encourage or discourage you.
It is here that you must be honest with yourself- her reaction will tell you how she feels. If no eye contact is achieved she's not bothered- so neither should you- forget her and start the process again.
If you do catch her eye line- then make the next move- smile! Then subtly watch her body language and movement looking for encouraging signs. She may face you, or fiddle with her hair or clothing. This is an invitation- you take the lead and go and greet her.
STEP 2:
Now your ability to converse with the women will determine how your meeting turns out. Go over to her, don't be shy- or waste time- someone may get in there first if you do! Be positive- after all she has already given you signs that’s she open for offers.
What's the worst that could happen- she could only say no! Walk over to your women feeling confident. This will produce confident vibes-, which will be obvious to your target. A self-assured man can be a real turn on!
The next step is to break the ice- by saying something. Although you may find this hard don't worry what to say and not to say are described later in the guide. Throughout this stage it is very important to keep up the initial eye contact that you have established.
Also keep the body language flowing- it is a great way of making your target woman feel a bit more comfortable. It is also a great way of communication subtly, privately setting up a bond between you.
STEP 3:
This next stage is where you need to establish and interaction or interface with your chosen women. There is no telling how long this may take. It may happen at first sight, or in a few minutes or it just may never happen.
Later on you will learn in more depth how to spark this interaction. Once this interaction has been achieved then there is no stopping you. You and you partner can begin to get closer to one another.
Physically urges will begin to surface. They may start out in little ways: brushing her as you pass, or touching her hand when you pass her a drink. These urges will develop when you are both ready- they may happen almost immediately- or after a few meetings. Just remember that this is really hard to do- no one gets it right at first. If you do suffer some set backs then don't worry- perseverance is the key.
USING BODY LANGUAGE:
Using verbal communication to attract a woman is only half the game plan. Talking with your body is the other half. It is only when you have mastered both parts that you have a real great chance of attracting that perfect woman that every man wants.
You will now learn all about how your and hers body can talk to each other. You will learn to recognise how your body reactions can influence her reactions. You must be able to tell her what you want and who you are even before you approach her- by using simple body language techniques.
Another key idea is being able to pick out the women who are most responsive to you, and your body language- this will take a bit of time, but by narrowing it down, rejection will become a thing of the past.
Talking with your body is the most important part of your strategy when aiming at your perfect women. The key is to take it, and use it to suit you resulting in a better outcome and success rate.
FLIRTING:
Flirting is in a sense using your body to communicate. You must be able to flirt well to have any kind of success. Now like anything, to achieve a good standard of flirting you need to practise. Practise makes perfect! So my advice to you is to practise flirting at any opportunity.
Smile at women casually in the street, say 'Hello' in the office. Once you have achieved a level where you feel confident in doing this, it is time to move on to more daring approaches: ask women for their numbers, try out new lines and simply be nice! It's all good practise.
Every time you practise this you will add to knowledge of women, enabling you to read them better and better, allowing you to improve and adjust your techniques accordingly.
STANDING YOUR GROUND:
It is important that when you spot a potential women that your are in a good position to communicate with her. It's no good sitting at the other end of the bar, hidden behind a sofa- eye contact and flirting will simply not flow.
Position yourself in a good position, not too far away from the women. However, make sure you don't get too close, you don't want to smother her or leave yourself too open, incorporate that air of mystery.
Once an initial reaction has been offered, you can adjust your position accordingly. Turn to face her, and maybe shuffle, giving out welcoming signals. Women will then use their surroundings and space to communicate back with you. They may move closer, or lean towards you suggestively- it just depends on the situation.
You must also be able to recognise how women respond to you, by using their bodies and actions. She may simply move closer to you, or turn to face you directly. However, she may take it further. It is no coincidence when she is at the bar when you are, or she is on the same part of the dance floor as you.
But she maybe much more subtle. She may just simply blink more; ore fiddle with her hair or touch your arm- it depends on her.
Another well known technique is to walk past you and engage eye contact- once established she will look away, and then return her gaze to see if you are still interested. All these methods are subtle ways of communicating interest. It is now up to how you respond.
USE THOSE EYES:
How much you can say with your eyes to another is highly under estimated. You'd be surprised how much you can give a way by using your eyes. Once spotting the lady of your choice you must make yourself visible and engage eye contact.
Don't under estimate how much a woman can read from your eyes- they have knack of being right! The key is to be honest and genuine- a women will spot a fake a mile off. A key thing to remember is to keep the eye contact to the eyes- women hate noting more than being looked over like a filly. You don't want to ruin the communication before it gets started.
Once you have made eye contact don't give up. It is important not to look away or down first. Not only does this display a lack of confidence; it also shows a lack of interest- neither of which you want to convey. Hold the eye contact as long as you need to- it's a great way of setting the scene and breaking the ice.
If she doesn't look down- and your eyes start to hurt- don't worry! She's taken the bait hook, line and sinker. She's playing you at your own game- a great sign. If this happens the best way to deal with it is to laugh or maybe smile.
Once she looks away it is you cue to- but regularly look around in her area to see if she is looking at you. If she is she is showing blatant interest- the longer the eye contact the more she is interested. The type of women who do this are secure and confident- the type who know what they want!
When approaching the women it is important not to look away or down. This will show her that you too are confident and secure and know what you want!
SMILE:
Your smile can reveal as much about you as your eyes can. Smiling is a great, simple way of communicating with a woman. It can show you are a happy, self confident, good natured, friendly person- not bad for a gesture that takes two seconds!
It's also a great way to let a women know that you've noticed her and would like to take things a bit further. After you have achieved initial eye contact make sure you smile- after all it's only polite.
If the woman you have aimed at returns your smile you know she's noticed you and you've made a good start. She has almost given you her seal of approval for you to initiate the next move.
The last important thing I am going to say is: make sure you look like you are having a good time. Smile and laugh as much as you can. Not only will you give out a good aura, but also you'll look like you are fun to be with and have a great time wherever you go.
KNOWING HER REACTIONS:
This is a really big part of knowing how to react to women. Women find it very hard to hide their reactions and their feelings. You must learn to read them like a book. Normally men fail to read the signs, but by knowing where to look it will all become mighty obvious to you.
Although there are many different ways of reacting to an initial attempt at communicating they can be broadly categorised in two ways: OPEN and CLOSED. An example of being open is not having your legs crossed. Being closed is folding your arms or hands in pockets.
Open women are usually up for a bit of fun- so you can make your move when you feel comfortable. Closed women are really worth bothering- they simply don't want to be bothered.
WOMEN SITTING:
When a woman has both her arms and her legs crossed she is CLOSED. So don't bother trying to establish communication with her. You may want the challenge, but trust me if you don't like rejection don't bother.
When a woman is showing her hands, maybe on her lap, or resting on a table with her legs uncrossed she is definately OPEN for offers. She may keep crossing and uncrossing her legs- this is a great way of getting attention and showing off her assets.
If she leans forward this is a definite sign of interest. Once you are sure of the situation GO FOR IT!
WOMEN STANDING:
If a woman is standing with her arms crossed she is CLOSED. By closing her arms she demonstrating that she is uncomfortable in her surroundings. She is thus creating a barrier between herself and others.
If a woman is leaning on the bar or on a chair it may also indicate she is both bored and uncomfortable. When a woman stands with her legs slightly ajar with her hands on her hips, or by her side she is displaying OPEN characteristics.
KNOWING THOSE SIGNS:
You may at first find it hard to read all the signs about a woman's body language. Don't worry everything takes time and practise. But even beginner should be able to spot some give-away signs:
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She may fidget
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She may shuffle in her hair
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She may keep glancing in your direction- dipping her eyes
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She may rub or touch her legs
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She may cross and then uncross her legs repeatedly
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She may play or twist strands of hair
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She may lick her lips
All of the above are great examples of indicating if a women is OPEN. Once you have discovered that this woman is OPEN you must then act on the situation appropriately. When she indicates she wants to be approached you must be able to do so confidently and appropriately. If you do she is much more likely to accept you advances and react further
TOUCHY FEELY:
Most men that I know can't wait to get physical with a women they find desirable. But you must remember that get touchy too will discourage her and may frighten her off all together. You simply have to pick the right moments.
Certainly don't start to touch a women until she has showed definite signs of interest. And then when you do touch her, do it softly and subtly which won't put her off and make her feel comfortable and at ease in the situation.
The best way to touch a woman subtly is do it by 'accident'. Anything you can think of will do- maybe lean over to get a beer mat or ashtray allowing your arm to brush over yours. If she allows this too happen and even responds then carry on in a subtle manner.
This then completely confirms you are interested in her. It is hard to believe that some men don't touch enough and as a result miss out. Don' let yourself get caught up in this situation. If it feels right and natural go ahead with your instinct- but don't hesitate that looks even worse, like you don't know what you are doing.
GIFT OF THE GAB:
By this time you should have now mastered the art of understanding a woman's body language. It is now time to get to grips with the spoken language. The idea is to become as comfortable as you can when talking to a woman, whether it is for the first time, or on a 3rd or 4th meeting.
Your aim is to make the woman feel as comfortable as possible in the situation. You need to make her feel wanted and understood- even if she is boring you. One of the main problems is that you often find that your words and actions are interpreted wrong- ending in disaster. After studying this chapter that just wont happen.
If you all admit it- everything does come down to sexual relations. You might just want a one-night stand or you may want to find a wife, but whatever you are looking for sex will play a big part. Therefore it is important to understand the concept that conversation is a tool which will help you have sex.
If a woman feels she relates to someone she will let her guard down and get emotionally involved with them. To make this happen you have to create an appropriate atmosphere which allows the woman to like she can interact with you and take the relationship further.
You must set up some sort of rapour- ask her about her likes and dislikes, listen fully to what she has to say. This will make her feel important and more confident. It will also make her feel that you really care about what she has to say. Don't interrupt, but do offer your own opinions when she has finished.
THE FIRST TARGETS:
When talking to a woman for the first time it is important that you meet your target by finding out some information. If you fail to achieve this then there is no point in pursuing the lady further. Firstly you need to find out her name.
Achieve this by introducing yourself casually and then ask her hers. She should reply out of politeness. A god tip is to keep calling her by her name, avoiding the third tense. A woman will appreciate this attention to detail.
The next step is to try and find some common ground that you could talk and bond through. Achieve this by asking her a few questions. But do it casually, don't make her feel like she is on the spot.
This will make her feel uncomfortable, and she will back off. When the conversation draws to an end you must get the ladies number, or ask a way you can get in touch with her. Don't be nervous, if the conversation has gone well there should be no problem.
TALKING…
Now you know what you need to achieve, you must now learn how to achieve it. It can be a lot harder than you think. Men and women are known for how differently they talk. But all you have to do is to learn to compromise. Listening to a woman is a good start.
How much a woman appreciates a man who listens to her is underestimated. Let her answer fully and then offer you view of support. A key idea is to involve yourself in her situation- putting yourself in her future. Then offer your own personal experiences. A women will bond with a man who has been through the same situation she has- trust will start to develop.
Another good tip is to maintain eye contact through out the conversation. Make noises in agreement to show that she still has your full attention and that you are interested in her for herself, both just for her body. If you can succeed in doing this- she'll be putty in your hands!
At first conversation can be quite difficult to keep going. You have to keep it going, by making all the right moves. You must be the initiator. Keep the questions flowing: How did she do that? When? Where? But not Why? - this may make her feel uncomfortable and upset.
YOU MUST SHOW SOME INTEREST in her situation or problems. By getting involved you will make her feel confident and liked. Her impression of you will also be good.
DON'T…
What not to say is just as important as what to say is. You don't want to ruin a good start by unnecessary or rude comments. Don't mention taboo subjects that are highly debatable. You may get too involved and offend her or she may just be put off you by your views.
Don't be rude or unpleasant. No one wants to be associated with this kind of person. Don't be sexist or racist. This is a sure-fire way of irritating a woman even before you know her. After you have got to know each other a little better you will be able to judge what you can get away with on the humour side- don't risk it early on.
Never mention your ex -girlfriends or past relationships. No one wants to know about them, especially her. It will make her feel uncomfortable and she may think you are unreasonable. Don't look for sympathy.
No woman is going to be interested in a man who is weak and a walk over. If you've come across all confident and self-assured you don't want to ruin it by telling a sob story. Don't put yourself down. Highlight your good points, not your bad ones. It is an obvious display of lack of confidence and conviction by doing so.
HOWEVER…
Don't forget that the whole point of the conversation is to reach your targets: Name, Common ground and Contact. Don't loose sight of this throughout your conversation, as it is very important. Be aware of how the woman is acting.
You need to find out if she is single. Ask her when you both feel comfortable. Most will tell the truth- but do be aware of those who get a kick out of leading guys on- they just aren't worth it.
Make sure that you both have an equal part in the conversation. Don't ask all the questions. Make sure you balance it out with sharing the same amount of information as she is.
Don't worry if you feel really nervous. Everything will feel better with more practises. Just make sure you are pleasant and agreeable- it's a really good starting point. Most women do enjoy a good conversation- take advantage of this and GET TALKING!
WANDERING OVERALL:
Compared to talking to a woman and reading her body language this part of seducing woman is surprisingly simple. Although there are millions of different situations that you can approach women in, many share common factors.
Remember what I said earlier? The opportunity to approach a woman may come and anytime and anywhere and you must be prepared for this factor. You see many attractive women everyday- when will you see her again? NEVER!
Timing is extremely important. During everyday situations it is important to act quickly before the woman you have noticed slips away from you. By doing so you can turn an innocent meeting in the street to a date and later sex….
STARTING POINTS:
The most simple and yet effective way to start from is to simply say 'Hi' and smile at her. It's not adventurous so it won't put her off or frighten her. From there you should ask her a question or make a statement of fact. This should result in a response from her. You could compliment her or sate an obvious fact.. For example about the weather. I think there are four main ways to do so:
CONVERSATIONAL COMMENT:
This method relies on you observing her and making a judgement in a snap second. The judgement may be correct or incorrect. It doesn't really matter too much as long as a conversation is sparked.
However, it is better to be right than wrong. Always look for something that you could comment on. It could be an article about a film. Then you could comment on it, or ask her if she had seen it. It could be a bag she is carrying. You could presume she is going to the gym. This method can be used absolutely anywhere.
It simply doesn't matter. It is particularly suited to a brief encounter like in a lift or at the bus stop. Carry on the conversation asking her about herself, then when time runs out give her your card, or ask her for her number.
COMPLIMENT HER:
Every woman likes to be told that she looks good. By giving her a compliment you are showing that you have noticed and appreciated the effort she has made. You can compliment her on how she looks, her hair her clothes her jewellery.
A good tip is to mention something about her personally. For example: 'I like the colour of your hair- it's a lovely red.' Another great way of complimenting a woman is to compare her with something. It could be a film star or a character out a book.
This will show you have put real thought into what you have said. Showing you aren't shallow or predictable. It will also make you stand out more.
Follow your compliment with a question. Ask her how she does it or what she does. This will spark off the next stage of the conversation. Offer some self-opinion. Tell her you think she look great or that you are really impressed by what she is doing.
DISCUSSIONS:
This is where you start a conversation by commenting on the situation you are both in. You could be on the train which maybe delayed- comment on this maybe the atmosphere or the train company. If you are a party you could start a conversation by discussing how you know the party organiser.
It will give you both some good, strong common ground. You could discuss someone who is making a particular fool of themselves- whatever you feel most comfortable with.
The most important point is to draw her attention to the fact that you are both together in this certain situation right now. You can do this by using 'we' or 'both'.
This will give her a sense of togetherness. If you are at a party and don't know anyone my advice is to go over and tell your aim that you find her attractive. If nothing else the woman will appreciate your honesty.
QUESTIONS:
The final way to spark off a conversation with a woman is to ask her a common question: 'Have you got the time?' 'What time does the bus come?' 'What date is it?' etc etc. This is a tried and tested way of making conversation and on the whole it is very successful.
IN GENERAL:
In general it is totally up to you what method you use. It depends on your preference and the type of woman. At first you may find it really difficult and uncomfortable doing this but like everything else it will get better and easier with time.
After a while you will probably develop a favourite technique. You may find that you prefer to use a combination of two or methods. My main tip is to be adaptable to any situation or method. In the long run this will give you greater succes |
